As an adolescent, I was the king of unrequited love, as many an ex-girlfriend will affirm, usually with a nervous glance around at all the available exits. I bought into the idea of romantic love without a critical thought, since who was I to argue with the poetic successes of Petrarch, Dante or even the king of terrible relationship choices himself, Marcel Proust?
Once I was exposed to the commonsense ideas of what is known as radical feminist theory, I became aware that women may not be very excited about being the object of some loser's thwarted desire. I looked back at my self-absorbed ways with a more jaundiced eye. In some instances, I could see that my love was nothing but the fascination anyone can have for a shiny object half-seen from the corner of your eye, whenever it was about a girl I never knew. When it was - rarely, all kidding aside - for a girl I knew very well, I realized the love was a normal love for a friend, but frustrated by my own shortcomings as a person and the cultural taboos against being too friendly with any girl you once dated, out of deference to anyone who has loved her since.
This song started out as another song about sex, like Erotic. But I decided to make it a general statement about the foolishness, if not the inhumanity, of loving someone you only think you love because you desire her.
Here's the shameless lyrics:
I’ll come if you call, I’ll run, I’ll even crawl
If you would invite me… It would delight me…
But you neglect me! Only to spite me!
Though I just love to be punished by you
For all the sweet little things that I do
In return I’m sullen and mean
You never notice what you’ve never seen
Unrequited love, just as in heaven above
Lives on nothing but hope and a well-practiced mope
My love is nothing but thwarted desire
Hormonal throes by your beauty inspired
I’ll come if you call, I’ll limp, I might even sprawl
I’m such a good boy, I’m such a steady.
Call me your Nigel, I’m always ready.
And if it’s getting harder and harder to do
‘cause I’m all tired and dried out and blue
You can send me out for a coke.
I’m gonna love you anyway no matter what you do or say
Because love is nothing but whatever I desire
And if you insist on rejecting me may I request most respectfully
That you somehow cease being the object of my desire.
Download Unrequited Love.
Or listen to it on my blog.